The Reason You Should STOP Dating His Potential & DUMP Him Now
If you’re still left daydreaming about some future version of them, or waiting for something to change, holding off on what you need in some emotional threshold dance — that ain’t it.
There are very few reasons why your needs are not being met and unfortunately, sudden & spontaneous acknowledgement of the (previously unobserved) value of one’s partner — doesn’t make it to that list.
You make time for what you value, you prioritize what’s important, you show what matters, you are the sum of your choices, standards, beliefs, rules and values.
If he’s not already what you need, and he’s not asking you what you need..or worse, not pivoting somewhere after you express a gap in your needs, he’s not going to close that gap anytime soon sister.
I am not talking about the acclimation period where you learn one’s tender spots, love languages, personality traits, etc. There is an adjustment in communication while adapting to a loved one and how they feel love, communicate, etc.
I’m talking about the day-to-day deficit you live in and the slow standard drop you’ve allowed. The gradual settling into less and less, while a partners lack of integrity chisels away at your happiness and sense of sell-worth.
Lazy lovers don’t change. They are commonly narcissists, codependents, abusers and just plain bums. You cannot love them into wholeness, you cannot fix their wounds and revel in the rewards of having been the one to heal them into new life. This is the dizzy daydream of empaths, victims of narcissism and codependents. Everyone deserves love, sure. But not everyone deserves yours.
The painful thing is, somewhere in you knows that what you love is a potential. Reality fights this everyday and unfortunately, it will eventually win. It will take you down harder because you invested and they didn’t. The loss is strictly on your side of the table.
The real deal doesn’t feel like roulette. It doesn’t cause your body to contract. It doesn’t have to position your heart carefully so the fastidious weather doesn’t kill it. It’s not a game and doesn’t need a plan or approach. If it isn’t growing, you cannot force it.
